My sister wrote a beautiful blog today about how amazing our mother is (see, I'm not the only one who thinks she is perfect) and how she wants to be just like her when she is a mom. And she added a great picture of my parents from when they were first married. It kind of tied perfectly into everything I have been pondering lately.
A combination of an awful week, the Thanksgiving season, and Adam and mines fourth anniversary has just made me overwhelming grateful for a PERFECT marriage.
YES. I said perfect. Perfect even in its imperfections. And I know those imperfections are there- because life cannot be perfect. But a relationship can. And a marriage is built off of a relationship. And Adams and mines relationship? Perfect.
This week I was showering at 3am in the morning, sick, and after cleaning up an overflowing toilet for the second time that day. (And I mean the GROSS overflow- not just toilet water kind.) And for some reason- I had to laugh. Laugh at the ludicrousness of the situation, laugh at how grown-up and adult I had just been (deep cleaning my bathroom while I was sick- taking care of a house etc.) and laughing at how instead of being pissed out of my mind- I was simply grateful for Adam who understands me SO perfectly (better than my saintly mom even) and grateful that when i was done air drying in our cold bathroom (all the towels having been used to clean up the toilet mess) that I would crawl into bed and he would actually cuddle TOWARDS my cold damp body to give me his warmth.
That my friends, that is love.
Maybe you think I am idealizing my marriage. But... wouldn't that be a good thing? Isn't the best kind of realtionship when you are so focused on everything that is graet, that you hardly notice the things that go wrong?
Things do go wrong sometimes. Adam and I get "huffy" at one another. I think in four years however, I can only think of one fight. And I say that because I am sure that one fight has happened- but I cant actually dredge up the memory of it. We get upset at one another regularly just like any couple. But over four years Adam and I have worked out this amazing way of solving and getting over our issues almost immediatly.
I attribute all this to a few things Adam and I have in common.
Adam and I both HATE being mad- or grumpy- or angry with those we most like. We both dislike negative feelings towards other people in general. So how could we live, EVER, with negative feelings towards one another?
Adam and I's understanding of one another is a little boarding on creepy. Its hard to get mad at someone, when you know why they are feeling what they are feeling, and why they are reacting like they are reacting. Its like getting mad at a baby because hes crying because he is hungry. That's just dumb.
I am not saying all of this to brag that Adam and I are wonderful (though I think we are) or to make people feel bad about their own realtionships. I am saying this becasue I am so overwhelming grateful that my life, my marriage, my future, has turned out to be amazing as it is. And only because I am being true to who I am, and Adam is being true to who he is. We fit together like puzzle pieces. We work together like the best peice of tupperware ever invented. And I am so grateful that I had to share it.
And, becasue my sister blog made me think of her, and my other sister, both independent and on their own for the first time. Both is this amazing, fun, and super scary time of life. And I thought of what I would say to them and you know what it would be?
Don't give up on the fairytale dream. It is out there. You can be happier than any Disney character or person in a book. Because a man with the Priesthood is better than one with a title. Because a temple is infinitely more pretty than a castle. because no one, NO ONE, looks bad in a white wedding dress. And no woman looks bad holding a child.
With the right man, and the gospel, you don't have to be "down to earth". You can be as idealistic as you want. Because your life of imagined fantasy will become REAL. The every day.
I love life, I love marriage, I love love, I love my husband. And I love that at three am, my feet in poopy water and my head swimming with germs, that I can STILL think my life is perfect and I wouldnt wish to be anywhere else that wasn't with Adam.