Thursday, March 31, 2011

First Week and PICTURE MANIA

Most of these pictures are off of my phone, which is why I haven't put them on here yet. There are some random ones, but a lot of them are really cute so I wanted to get them on here, even if they are only phone quality good.

(PICTURE #1- me at 40 weeks pregnant- the day before I went to the hospital to be induced.)

Well, Logan and I went home from the hospital on Sunday. (I have hospital going home pictures but they are on a disk somewhere in my hospital bag which has NOT been unpacked yet and I don't see it getting so for another day or two :) We were actually thinking of leaving on the hospital on Saturday, but Logan developed some jaundice, and they wanted to watch my incision a little more. (My pulse was high from some reason.)

(Picture #2- my very first snuggle with Logan in the OR. He looks so clean because they had to take him straight to get his neck and lungs checked out before Adam I could see him- they were really worried he wasn't going to make it. Silly doctors- Wolverine heals himself!)

Everything checked out on Sunday though, they loaded me up with information and medication (seriously, I am on four different things right now) and the doctors gave us the green light to go as long as we scheduled an appointment with the pediatrician on Monday to get Logan's Jaundice checked out.

(Picture #3- First family photo! Again in the OR. Doesn't Adam look GREAT in surgial wear? Mmmm.)

Everything has really been going just fine. I'm a little lame as a person or as a mom right now, not even because I am tired, but because letting my incision heal makes certain things really hard. Such as picking up our room. There is A LOT of bending down accompanied with that, and its amazing how HARD it is to bend over and over when you have healing wound in your tummy. (I usually squat which means once my 6 weeks of healing is over I am going to have GREAT legs.)

Adam has been more than a blessing and a half. He makes me food, goes downstairs to get me ice cream or retrieve breast milk from the fridge... he doesn't complain at all when I have to turn on lights to nurse in the middle of the night. He holds and cuddles Logan CONSTANTLY so I can shower and etc. And he loves doing it which makes my heart burst a million times over. Watching him and Logan snuggle together in bed makes me almost tear up. In fact, Adam is such a good snuggler that no one can really calm Logan like he can. I'm amazed that hasn't hurt my pride yet...

(Picture #4- Logan's hilariously wrinkly- I'm hungry face. In the hospital the nurses in the nursery nicknamed him "the grinch baby". Adam hated it but I thought it was HILARIOUS. His wrinkles really DO make him look a little like Jim Carrey in the Grinch don't they?)

Adams mom has been an amazing help as well. She calls us every day on her way home from work seeing if we need anything or want anything from the store. On Tuesday night she even made Adam and I dinner and brought it upstairs to us, though we were perfectly able to do it ourselves. (Don't worry, we treated her by taking Logan on his first real trip downstairs and she cuddled him and we introduced him to Dancing With the Stars :)

(Picture #5- this is how Adam spent all his time at the hospital. Since we live so close he would go home at night to sleep, but the moment he came in the next day he would hold out his arms and say, "Where's my son?" And then I only got to hold Logan again when he needed to eat :)

Wednesday was our first real and whole day AT home. On Monday we had to go to the doctors (amazing HOW much of your day 1 doctors visit takes up) and since Logan's jaundice had gotten worse, we had to go back in on Tuesday as well. Luckily, it was going down at that point so we get Wednesday and Thursday at home to ourselves. (And with no one pricking my poor child's feet... they are so bruised! Logan is amazing when they test him though- as long as Adam is holding him- and it has to be Adam not me- then he won't even cry.)

(Picture #6- justa cute little face :)

Funny story about the doctors- its a new thing where you have to go into the doctors every day until they have documentation that the billirubin level is down. (That is what causes jaundice apparently.) It used to be that as long as the doctors saw a picture and were satisfied then you were fine to not come in and get tested. Adam HATES the new "lawyer laws"- when the doctors were out of the room he was putting up such a fit about them "pricking his son over and over". Adam is SO protective and SO in love with Logan- nothing more darling than seeing a grown man dote and oogle over a child, I mean it.

(Picture #7- Logan is gettin ghis hearing tested :) They had to do it twice because this first time he threw SUCH a fit they couldn't finish it. They had to move his hat to get all thr probes on right and there is NOTHING Logan hates more- or at least hated more when we were in the hospital- than having his hat removed. He did pass eventually though. I just had to feed him enough to really knock him out :)

(Picture #8- another sweet face)

Besides the jaundice (which, thanks to our lactation specialist who is the most AMAZING woman in the whole world, is going down and fast) everything is going... surprisingly well. I say surprisingly because I think Adam and I had kind of settled within ourselves for the first few weeks of parenthood to be... well hell. But, thanks to a little more help from our amazing lactation specialist, Logan eats great (with minimal supplementation) and he sleeps well. Naps and at night. Plus, he is just SO darn cute! I can't tell you HOW many times during the day Adam and I go over and peek into the pack in play just to look at Logan and laugh.

(Picture #9- I just loved how he tucked his little arm under his face like that.)

Adam had to work Wednesday morning, and tonight, so Logan and I have been on our own! It still hasn't quite hit me that this is what my life is going to be. I think I still feel like I am just on some sort of super fun vacation and before you know it I am going to have to go back to work. I am so used to working that it just seems ineviatble. But no- this really IS my day- my life. I really CAN and am even ENCOURAGED to nap in the middle of the afternoon- for two or three hours!

(Picture #10- this is my favorite picture of all so far becasue I actually caught him with his cute baby blues open! Logan opens his eyes and is awake a lot... its just that he HATES the camera flash so it is VERY hard to snap a good awake photo.)

Logan and I have been having fun listening to country music and taking pictures, and napping in bed. :) I haven't really gotten on a productive schedule yet... but I figure I am still healing and Logan is only a week old- there is no reason to rush it. During his naps I have done a little cleaning, a little showering, a lot of blogging :) I have lists of things I want to do and need to get done- and though I DO get things crossed off each day- it just goes a lot slower than it did before.

I remember thinking in the past that stay at home moms have SO much time. But really- when it takes a half hour to feed, and then I have to pump whats extra to stimulate my milk more, and then there is the burping and the diaper changes... out of every three hours at max you have an hour and a half to get things done. And you really can't do a project that is MORE than an hour and a half. Plus, one or two of those hour and a halfs you don't do anything becasue you are napping, and then another hour and a half you want to spend just loving on your kid. I could spend a whole hour JUST in kissing Logans cheeks. No joke there.

(Picture #11- Logans face when I burp him. My hand just squnches up his little cheeks and it makes me laugh.)

I love being a mom. I really do. All the irritation I would or should feel is minimized the moment I see Logan's little wrinkly frowny face, or he cuddles into me. (My son is darling :) I sure it won't be like that every moment and all the time from here on out- but I like that it is like that now and I am taking FULL advantage of it while I can.

(Picture #12 and 13- these are from our very first outing! To the doctors. That is if we are not counting coming home from the hospital as an outing. Which I am not. It was a cold day and I laughed at how much we bundled tiny little baby into his seat so I had to catch it on camera.)

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Zumba Video Number 2

Yes another Zumba video! I am showing this one- not only becasue she is one of my FAVORITE instructors, but she and her studio have about... 40 videos on YouTube and they are ALL excellent. Its the GRDanceFitness.

THIS is the type of work-out I like- and need. Good music- fast passed movement, a great and excited instructor. I love almost all of their videos and the one or two that i don't like are only becasue they are too slow. If you love ZUmba check it out!

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

My Community

Its true. I love the show Community. In fact, I love it so much it may even be edging out classic show like Seinfeld and Friends. Scratch that- it HAS edged out Seinfeld. Friends... I think they are tied. Truly. This show is awesome.

However, this post isn't really about the show, just about something I feel in my own life, that the show actually does a fabulous job representing. The Christmas episode for 2010, while actually not being my favorite, talks about the meaning of Christmas and one of the characters states that while in the past Christmas to him meant spending time with his mom. But now that his mom had remarried and has a new family, Christmas means spending time with his friends, the study group, the community.

I love this, and have ALWAYS been a lover of the concept that family can be found and truly does exist everywhere. I think I learned this when I moved out as a freshman in college and landed in the best dorm ward that has ever existed. The people I met there have been and continue to be my family- my brothers and sisters. (In fact, but don't tell him, one of my "boys" is married and his wife and I are blog buddies and she may be edging him out in my heart if that is possible :)

I have been lucky enough to have found friends, family, and community wherever I live. And one thing I was thinking about while I was eating breakfast today, is how grateful I am for my BLOG community.

Its funny how I can think of family as just a bunch of digital people writing things and sharing pictures. Some of these people I have never met. But by reading your blogs, seeing you comment on mine, seeing your pictures, listening to your opinions, hearing your stories... I feel like, to say it in a corny way... we are really a part of each other.

Blogging really DOES make its own community. It had brought me back in touch with and closer to people that would have never happened before. It gives me a medium to REALLY show who I am, and to hear what you are. It really makes me so happy to sit here in the morning and just write down my most random of thoughts and ideas, share my dumbest of pictures, and yet to see you writing about them yourselves, thinking about them, and caring about them.

I love blogging! I really do. I love reading everyone else's blogs. Even all of your most random of thoughts and ideas. Sometimes- those are really my favorite. I thinking blogging is one of the best things to have ever happened to my world.

And thank you for being a part of it. I know you don't read every post and that's okay. I write this for me- but knowing it means something to you as well is just the best thing ever. Thank you for being a part of my world, a part of my community, and yes- a part of my family. And thanks for letting me be a part of yours :)

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Grateful Tears

I am sure you all will laugh at me about this but I don't care :)

Around 8 last night, I had just finished nursing and was waiting for Logan's nurse to come in. We were just enjoying cuddling and watching The Food Network and I started to CRY. Not loudly sobbing- just loads of tears.

I actually had a freak out moment that MY nurse was going to come in and everyone would start worrying that I had post-pardum and somehow I was going to have to make them believe that I was NOT crying because I was sad- but I was SO overwhelmingly thankful. (I was a rather mean pregnant lady but I am proving to be a weepy new mom haha! Almost crying right now.)

I am so grateful for a beautiful hospital that doesn't even feel like one, to stay in and recover in.

I am so grateful for my nurses and Logan's nurses who answer every and any question I have, and are just generally the nicest people in the world.

I am grateful for the nurses who have sat with me every time I nurse to make sure I do it right, and to make sure Logan gets the hang of it.

I am so grateful that the only problem we have with nursing is that Logan gets frustrated that it comes out so slow. Which is frustrating until he latches and then its funny how impatient he is, and what his wrinkly face looks like when he is impatient :)

I am so grateful for the amazing and talented doctors who did my c-section- for studying so hard to be where they are, to be able to do something like that for me and my son. For being so nice to Adam and I, for keeping us laughing and smiling even during the operation, and so patient and caring afterwards.

I am grateful for Adam for being so calm and wonderful- and so HELPFUL. He holds baby, cleans him, helps me feed- I LOVE watching them nap together. I love that Adam loves it and wants us home ASAP.

I am so grateful that pregnancy and the first few days of parenthood, instead of being hard on our marriage, has only brought Adam and I SO much closer, and made us so much happier.

I am so grateful that though I was so worried about loosing patience too fast- so far it hasn't been hard to be empathetic and understanding of my kid. Even when he is whining at 4 am. (Though whether I am okay with it a 4am in the future will probably be directly related to how MUCH it happens :)

I am so grateful that being a parent has been natural. Not that I know what to do at all- I ask questions about EVERYTHING. But- I mean the instinct to love Logan and to help him and care for him- that wasn't something I had to work to find, and I was worried before that it would be.

I am so grateful for the time I have had just to cuddle Logan. I tear up sometimes when they take him from my room because even if I'm not holding him- I do like to just look at his little wrinkly face.

I am so grateful Logan likes long naps.

I am so grateful just to HAVE Logan- that Heavenly Father trusts me to be a mom of this tiny thing despite everything I do wrong.

I know that a lot of this will probably change- that I AM going to get frustrated, and things WILL get tough at points. That I will loose my patience, that I will cry because I am mad or upset and not happy. I know if I don't hit speed bumps with breast feeding or my c-section- I will with something else.

But you know what? The fact that my first few days have been SO wonderful is just something else to be grateful for. And no matter how hard things DO get- that doesn't take away how much I love and am grateful for Adam and how amazing he is. And it doesn't take away from how cute I think Logan is, how much I love him now, and how much he makes me laugh.

I love the men in my life. I have always loved all my "boys", but its especially nice when I know they are mine forever- and that they are ALL mine :)

Friday, March 25, 2011

Logan Xhejms (middle name pronounced James)

Here is our baby! I'll try to spare you too many birth details- its a long story and they can get boring and lets face it. You just want to see pictures right? :) (Adam and I before everything got started. Hence why I am smiling.)

We went into the hospital at 4 on Wednesday to get the induction under way. They had to get me all "warmed up" so they put me on... something starting with a C :) We stayed the night- everything went well. I started having contracts around 2 am.

Thursday morning around 6 the doctor broke my water, got the contractions going, I got the epidural ASAP (about 8). (Labor pains- im sorry to say it- are a bitch. I have NEVER felt pain like that in my life. That the Lord for the epidural.)

- Picture of Adam and how he spent the majority of Thursday ;) Love my men.

They came in around 10 to check me and get my catheter in and the moment they got me rolled onto my side, babies heart rate dropped past 75 and STAYED that way. I didn't even know it had dropped when the nurses were giving me air to get my heart rate up and the doctor said we were running in for emergency c-section.

At the time they had NO idea what had caused it. Everything had been going just great and just fine. In fact- my epidural was so good that during my c-section they didn't even give me other meds. Just pushed the epidural to the max. The doctor was great- made sure I didn't feel a thing. Had Adam and sitting behind me holding my hand. Adam was an amazing champ through EVERYTHING. He didn't even have a problem watching me get my epidural. He was my amazing rock.

Come to find out- once the start getting Logan out- that somehow and sometime he had decided to fight Spiderman in my uterus and in the process got the cord wrapped around his neck 3 times. 3!! And then- yeah there's more- TIED IT IN A KNOT. That's my son for you. It turned out to be a major blessing that his heart rate dropped when it did otherwise "Logan wouldn't have tolerated labor and things would have been much worse." (That's what the doctor said.) I would have to labor for hours and then we would have had to go into c-section anyways, and I would have had to be sedated all the way. This way I still got to experience every moment. Neither Adam or I got to see the baby right off- he had passed his first bowel movement earlier (they noticed when the broke my water) so they had to take time to suction his lungs. But while they cleaned him up and checked him out, and I got sewn up they let Adam go and see him. Adam came back to me with a huge smile and said, "He's a cute little bugger."I actually laughed and said, "Are you saying that to just make me feel good or do you mean it?" (He meant it.)

They let me cuddle Logan before we left the OR- the nurses made me feel wonderful because he had been a little cranky and when I started talking to him he calmed down and all the nurses were like, "He recognizes your voice. He likes you a lot."They had to take Logan to the nursery to make sure everything was okay with his breathing since he had strangled himself in utero. But by the time I was in my room and all covered and meded up they brought him into me. We breastfed and then fell asleep in the bed together. One of my most favorite moments.

We are doing GREAT. Logan is doing just fine- getting the hang of nursing slowly but surely. All the doctors said he was going to be 8 pounds- for weeks. He is so small! And that just makes him look so long! He also has this great wrinkly face that reminds me of a sharpie puppy- (I can say that- those dogs are cute) but it also makes all of his disgruntled expressions hilarious.

I am feeling great- recovering just fine. Got out of the bed for the first time this morning and peed by myself (hurrah! :) We should get to go home on Monday, and I am going to enjoy my time in the hospital asking loads of questions and taking advantage of the lactation specialist. Adam is also doing great- he has been all smiles and VERY cute with Logan.

Neither of us really feel that full "parent love" yet, but we deff feel a lot of love. How could you not? The kid is so cute! And only cries when you take his hat off :) he HATES that. I'll tell you loads more later- but just wanted to give you what was going on now.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Before the birth... and ZUMBA!!!

I have to give birth soon. Exciting and awful thing. So I have a feeling that there will be LONG pauses where I don't blog :) Or who knows? Maybe blogging in bed will be the best way for me to recover. Either way, since I have so many thoughts right now as it is, I thought it would fun just to store up a couple of posts while I have this "adventure." So that's what I'm going to do. That way your don't get bored.

So, today, of course by the title, I am back to talking about ZUMBA!

I do realize that I talk about Zumba A LOT and I have had a lot of friends and family, though not necessarily through blogging, who are not so sure what it is. So, as a little thing, I thought I would share this video. It is one of the Zumba work-outs that I have put on my homemade DVD and I feel it is one of the very best as well. Its an easier one, no doubt to that, but it fun, fast passed, and a full body work-out.

THIS video shows what I love about Zumba. (And it also attests to the fact that yes, I really do LOVE Shakira.) So just think of a variety of these types of things for an hour straight and you will IMAGINE the fun and the work-out you get.

And maybe if you guys like this video I will post some of the other good Zumba dances I found on youtube since I DID spend hours searching through the ones posted to find good ones I liked. (this includes being able to SEE THE INSTRUCTOR in the video. You would be amazed how many I just turned off because I couldn't see the instructor. That's a peeve for me.)

Monday, March 21, 2011

Coming Soon.... (and a little about the serial novel)

LOTS of great and fun news to share with you today!

1. I had a doctors appointment today- I am only dilated to a 1 and effaced 50 percent BUT- my favorite doctor had an induction opening and was cool with taking me early so at 4pm on Wednesday Adam and I will be heading to the hospital! They have to put me on some meds over night to "warm" me up, but they are pretty sure that they will break my water and get me going early early Thursday the 24th. So hopefully Thursday night I will have my little man! Which means pictures and stories for you by Saturday or Sunday.

Don't be surprised if there are still "posts" on here until then :) I have one or two random things I have written and just have them set up to post while I am out of commission. I know- weird as heck but hey- there you go :)

2. Adam and I have been STRESSING out about the fact that we haven't heard back from one of our favorite med schools. Adam got on some forums last night and discovered that they WON'T let us know anything until almost the second week of May. And that he still stands a chance of getting in. We're trying not to get our hopes up about the getting in thing (thought it does add a little rose to our horizon) but it IS nice to know that not hearing anything is actually not a BAD thing at this point.

3. I am all ready and set for my serial novel!! I have been thinking and pondering and trying a little writing here and there... and I think I have something that may just work and should cover most of things people said they wanted. So I am just going to write a few notes on here about what is going to go down so everyone is on the same page :)

A. I normally DO NOT write a story in succession like this. I write one scene by scene as I imagine it. But, I have learned from classes and such that this is a good way to just get something on the page. However- because of this you HVAE to understand that sometimes there will be posts that are just awful. And there may be whole parts that I may cut out later. And there may be some timing and other small inconsistencies that I would of course, go back and fix. What I hope to do is when these things come up, to write them at the top prefacing that days post that way you don't get crazy confused as a reader.

B. Kind of going with the above- I want all of your comments and opinions and even corrections- but just remember- this WILL be a very first draft so don't judge too harsh ;) I want your opinions of what to change and etc, but know that there WILL be phrasing mistakes, and grammar issues, and all of that. This is going to be fresh first draft material.

C. I hope to post every Monday. We will see how crazy overloaded I get with the baby and whether that is at all possible. I may very possibly take it down to every other Monday. But, at first expect every Monday for there to be a post. I will do little reminders and such. The posts WILL be happening on my crafty blog which I have just made over, so make sure to look for them there and not here.

D. I have NO idea how long these posts should be. I have a feeling the first will be LONG, and then maybe a few shorter ones... you guys can help me decide what is an appropriate length. I don't want it to take all day to read.

E. I think I am going to start posting in the middle of April. I want to lock down a FEW more things about the basic plot- and then of course give myself time at home with my son for a little while :)

4. I know there was something else exciting that I wanted to share... I want to say its me sharing the news that I MAY get an i-pad or a kindle which is SUPER fun... but for some reason that doesn't seem right.... either way. I am getting an ereader soon and am actually excited about it! Adam has finally converted me to the idea of getting rid of a load of my books for sheer room and convenience.

5. Haha! I remember the other thing now. I basically discovered the Tennessee version of the Utah grocery store Smiths! I know- a lot of people probably think that this is nothing to get excited about but it REALLY is because Smiths was the BEST place to get all this great healthy food stuff that NO ONE else would sell, and I have REALLY been missing it since I have been here. Haha! No more! There is a grocery store called Kroger that sells ALL of my favorites (except for vita-tops. I think I am going to have to order those online when I want them) and it is the CHEAPEST place around for milk, good bread, and even diapers! Super yay for me.

That's all for now folks! Next time I talk to you I should be thinner, more tired, and will hopefully have LOADS of fun pictures :)

Sunday, March 20, 2011

The Teacher's

I have a good friend named Joni Newman. We went to England together. I fell in love with her. (Not in a a creepy way.) In fact, I fell in love with EVERYONE I went to England with. It would be impossible NOT too when you see how smart and funny and wild and full of life and love and learning these people that I got to go on my adventure with are. Not to sound humble, but to be brutally honest with myself... I was not a first pick for the trip and though I DO think I added to the group... the group would have missed any of its other members had they not gone, than it would have missed me. Honest truth.

I am mentioning Joni today because she has a blog (the Unfortunate Lilly Maid) and I LOVE to read it. She has such a canny writing style that is so honest and yet so interesting and fun to read. A few days she wrote a post that resonated with me SO much so I am sharing two paragraphs of it for your beneift. The only disclaimer that you need is that she is a teacher.

I've had students use the "I'm not good at it!" excuse with me before. My response (in my head, if not out loud) is generally two fold: First, if you aren't good at it, that's fine. It just means that you have to work twice as hard. It's not an insult, it's just how things work until you get better. Second, even if you were good at it, it wouldn't be easy. When you're good at something, it means you're better able to spot the flaws and less able to live in delusions of grandeur. It means setting a higher standard of achievement.

It's so easy to look at the accomplishment of someone else and assume that they must be naturally talented at it which is why they're so good. But that's ridiculous. That's not how things work. In the parable of the talents, harder work leads to greater reward. I used to think this meant more talents in terms of a greater variety of skills in different categories - but that's not the only thing. It means expanding your ability to use (or "spend") your talent. And the only way to obtain more talents is to get out of the dirt and go do something about it.

I mostly post this because this is a response that I feel we should all give ourselves in any point of our lives no matter what situation we are trying for. And because I think it is so GLORIOUSLY true.

Its also something Adam has taught me. In life, but also with academics. People have heard me tease because if Adam gets a 92 or lower on a test that matters... he gets REALLY bummed about it. If it had been me- I would have been stoked just to get an A. But Adam sees that need for a higher perfection level in himself, especially when it comes to something he is already good at. The tiny flaws are not okay anymore.

This is how we see school and academics for our kids. Not good at math? That's fine. So get the rest of your homework done real fast, and then we will work twice as hard at the math. And there is also a margin of error for while you are learning. It is okay to not bee good at something. But you still have to try. Its like a quote I once heard "There is no such thing as failure. Just speed bumps along the way."

I also really like what Joni says about expanding talents. I have been told multiple times in different blessings that I have talents in the arts and I need to expand them and use them. This, besides making me really happy of course because I love the arts, also causes a little consternation because while I have dabbled in A LOT of different art forms, I feel just merely mediocre in all of them.

I know that there will always be better writers, and better sewers, better painters and chefs and teachers and readers than me... and over the past year or so I have begun to realize what Joni has stated so plainly. Having "talents" doesn't necessarily mean being able to do, or being good at loads of things. (Though no one will ever knock trying to learn news things.) But we need to get better at the talents we already have.

Hopefully this is what my serial novel can do for me. I need to get better at the talents I have and frankly- the ones I CHOOSE to have and make the best, since I have never been told specifically what artsy talents I need to progress. I believe whole heartedly that that is MY choice- to form myself to be what I want to be.

Anyways. This is a lot of my random thoughts, but I wanted to share Joni's with you because I found them so true and they stuck straight to my heart. And, I can't wait to get my little project underway- (it WILL probably start some time early April. Give me a chance to get into a rhythm with my kid first and then we will begin :)- thank you all for being the best of friends and readers and so interested in my life! I love the blogging world and reading peoples comments. It really does make me feel blessed.

Friday, March 18, 2011

For all the broken eyeshadow

yeah... have you ever dropped an eyeshadow compact and all the make-up shatters so you have to try using the powder (never as effective) or toss it?

I do this REGULARLY. Its actually one of the only reasons I have to go and buy new eyeshadow. I always break before I run out.

Anyways, my friend had the COOLEST tip on her blog the other day for when this happens! So I am posting the link here. Check it out. Pretty cool.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

38 Weeks and What We are Doing to Count Down Days

Ta-da! I am 38 weeks and... like four days now? I had a doctors appointment this morning and was all excited for some good news... to get absolutely no news at all. My body is NOT warming up to the idea of birth. Everyone is trying to console me and tell me- hey its normal. My mom didn't dilate at all until after her water broke. My doctor today told me the same thing, and she said her entire labor with her first kid was only six hours once her water did break.

Still, I wouldn't have minded to be a little open and all.

On the upper hand of things, this kid WILL be born on my due date! We have the induction all set up. I would rather go into labor naturally, but Adam has to go out of town on the 27th for a test and there is no WAY I am going to try to go through this without him (not to mention he will have the car...) so the doctors said it was fine, they would induce me on the 25th if this kid hasn't come before then. Comforting, and also REALLY weird to think that by next Friday at the latest I will be in the hospital.

So, I have been trying to be VERY productive now that I HAVE a date and an idea of when this little man is coming, and I have been getting everything done. Everything has been bought from breat pumps to malacon (I DO need to go get batteries for the bouncer seat though...). Everything has been set up- diaper station, stroller, car seat installed... clothes hung and washed, diapers and wipes stashed as well as bottles and formula just in case.

The car has been deep cleaned (could use a vaccuming) the bathroom has been deep cleaned, the bedroom has been deep cleaned (could use a dusting really). All the laundry has been done including towels and sheets. Diaper bag has been packed. Hospital bag is packed. Camera battery is fully charged, memory card emptied into the computer.

I have gotten my hair cut, my hair died, my toe nails done (in a cute blue by the way, since the baby IS a boy :) And I tell you what- if I had been a rich pregnant lady I would have gotten pedicures EVERY week. MAN nothing has felt better!

All in all- all systems are a go. Except for the most important one but I can't get TOO mad at my body (still no stretch marks- cross your fingers it stays that way and that you for my dad's skin!)

My work is all informed of my last day (the 24th). Adam's work knows about my induction date. He is all ready to apply for his Nursing Home positions once he gets the state board out of the way. People at church know I won't be teaching in April. I have the freezer stocked with freezer goodies, and the cuboard with cheap snacks.

I think all that's left is for Adam to compile a digital folder of things on his external hard-drive for "when labor gets boring" :) I am leaving entertainment up to him. And, I need to finish my Zumba DVD for April when I finally feel like getting out of bed. Which I am sure will take well into April, but I'd like to have it ready just in case.

So all you ladies who know better than I... have I forgotten anything?

And for the rest of you who don't know if I have or haven't... I really DO apologize that all that is going on in our life right now is baby, baby and that that is all I have to talk about. Boring as HECK for you I am sure. Give me a month. (I say a month because I am going to be OBSESSED with this kid when he FIRST comes and I am sure I will talk about nothing else.)

But I have no intention of loosing myself. So give me a few weeks to be enamored and then I primise, the literature, health, crafting, writing, totally random blogs about absolutly nothing will be coming right back to you :) Thanks for sticking with me and bearing with me for these last nine months. Trust me... I am just as ready for them to be over as you are :)

Monday, March 14, 2011

The Man's Demands

Adam may be one of the LEAST demanding people that I know. So when he does "demand" or "tell" me to do, or not to do, something, I usually listen. One, because it doesn't happen often so why not humor him, and two, because I usually end up thinking it is cute or funny.

His latest "demand" I felt worth blogging over :)

Adam MIGHT have to drive to Nashville (four hours away) the DAY BEFORE MY DUE DATE to take the state board test for his CNA license. My first thought was- hey, I'm not going to be working any more by then and I haven't ever been to Nashville, lets go together! I can explore while you are taking your test- it'll be a day outing! Super fun!!

Adam GLARED me down and said, "From now until this kid is born, under NO circumstances are you allowed to be further than 20 miles from the hospital."

YEAH. I didn't even THINK about the fact that- oh hey, during the four hour drive to Nashville I just MIGHT go into labor in the car and have to give birth at some random unknown hospital or IN THE CAR.

We spent the rest of the evening with Adam laughing at me when I asked him over and over, "Is this place more than 20 miles away?" Shows you how well I can tell distances :) (which is... yeah, not at all.)

And then we were trying to think of ways to keep me in town. Adam is all for taking a string and staking a huge 20 mile perimeter. I was saying he should stake signs on the highway at 20 mile points that say, "Sarah! Turn around! You've gone too far!"

Its really okay. I am so huge and so swollen now that I really don't have much desire to do anything but stay in bed anyways. Though it WILL be fun when I can travel WITH this kid. (Maybe he will come before the 24th and we can still go to Nashville together. I still think it would be fun.)

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Very Late Valentines Day

Yeah... I just now realized that I never put up anything about what we did for Valentines day! Because I am a horrible forgetful person. Oh well, here we go with it now :)

Adam and I both had to work on Valentines day- Adam 6 to 6, and me 3 to 9. So...we didn't get to do anything that day. But I decorated the bedroom with a game Adam and I used to play on his mission called- I love you more than. My friend AmySue from my feshman year of college and I used to actually play it together- you try to prove that you love the person by telling them all sorts of things that you love them more than.

So, I wrote on loads of little hearts things that I loved Adam more than and then scattered them all over the room with some treats :) Was very fun, and the hearts stayed on the floor as a type of decoration for weeks to come :) Which I also loved.

Then on Tuesday the 15th Adam took me to lunch at the Olive Garden which was VERY nice. So yeah to our very LOW key Love day!

Friday, March 11, 2011

Serial Novel Writing For You

So, I had this idea that I mentioned in a post on my Crafty blog and it has embedded itself in my mind, and the more I think about it, the more I love it so I want to share it here as well (cuz I get more traffic here) and see what you all think about it.

A Serial novel.

People used to do it ALL the time back in the day in the newspaper.

Its where you post a chapter or something of that sort, to a novel every week.

And I think it would be WAY fun for me to do on my crafty blog ( In fact, I would LOVE to do it. As long as we all understand the fact that it would probably be very unedited and such. But then again, that gives ME a chance to get some feed back which would be GREAT for me, especially since this would be a for fun and entertainment project, and not something that is my lifes work really. And it would get me writing more, and out of the box which are also all good things.

here is my problem.

What do I write about?

This is actually my biggest dilemma when I come down to ANY writing project. I LOVE to write, and I have story ideas bouncing everywhere every few weeks that I write on. Some of them are serious, some of them are not more than a few chapters. My problem is however, is what I usually love to write, is really not in the... normal vein of current fiction.

I really write things that you would expect to turn into an Amanada Bynes movie some day. Young, clean, I think they are funny, and a little sappy. But they are AWESOME fun for me to write.

But with THIS blog/serial project thing, I want to write something that people want to READ. That's the point right? And I think that writing something that may be out of my norm may be good for me. Help me grow.

So this is where I open this up to you. I want to write a serial novel for my creative blog over the summer. I think it will be SUPER fun. BUT- I need YOU to tell me what sort of thing you want to read. No, you don't have to write out a script or even a full fleshed idea though you ARE welcome too. I just want to know- right now- if you were going to pick up a book- what do you want to find in it? Vampires? Hot super men? Mystery? Action? Myth? Something in a historical setting? Something super thought provoking? A young hero? A heroine? First person, third person? Give me some ideas and some insight, and we will make this thing happen!

Note- there will have to be romance in it, even if it is just a TINY bit. I can't live without writing my romance :)

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

Baby Shower!

Well, I do realize that my shower was back in January, and that I have given you all the information about it already, but I never got around to posting pictures. (I promise I will TRY not to be this lazy when the baby comes.) But, I am going to post them today because they ARE fun :) Yay for showers! And thanks everyone who came, and who sent loving wishes- I had SUCH a good time!

Playing Pictionary.

This was a game where I had written facts about me and Adam as a kid and they had to guess who did what. VERY fun :)

Yay cute baby toys!

My friend Ashley at work MADE this for me! How creative can you get I ask?

Our cute clothing decorations- thanks to my mother in law for the idea- turned out so great! And cheap!

All my loot- I loved EVERYTHING!

My happy congradualtions scrapbook banner which yes, I DID keep.

I STILL Have balloons in my room :) But they are just so HAPPY!

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Dear Body,

Dear Body,

I am ready to not be pregnant. And Logan is REALLY ready to get outside of me and have a LITTLE more room. So we would both REALLY appreciate it if you would warm up and, "open" up a little if you know what I mean.



PS- if you do I PROMISE I will make you look good as fast as I can...

Monday, March 7, 2011

Logan and I and the Rain

I have this very strange desire... to make sure my child is partly ME. I know he won't be able to avoid it- he has half of my genes. And what's funny- is that its not really that I want him to love to read or write. Its the funniest things about me and my life that I want him to experience, or the littlest things that I want to be a part of his life.

I was thinking about this today because I was thinking about how much I would LOVE IT if it was raining while Logan was being born. I'm sure a lot of people think this is super weird but see... I am from Oregon. Rain water I think is something that after a few months in the northwest just sank into my veins. It would be like trying to take Mountains out of someone from Colorado or Utah, or trying to take green grassy hills out of someone from Tennessee.

I love the south. And I would have no problem with my child being a southern boy. I married one right? I can't hate them. And yet, I am NOT a southern girl. I am an Oregonian. (How sad is it that I am actually TEARING up as I say that?) And I LOVE Oregon. Almost everything about it. And I want part of Logan- to be Oregonian. I want him to walk down a road and be warmed by the mixed smell of old books, rain water, and marijuana. I want him to LOVE wearing flip-flops when its only 60 degrees and the ground is still so wet. I don't want him to ever want to bother with an umbrella.

I would love it if he got all liberal about legalizing marijuana everywhere (yes I am all for that but we can bring that up in another post) or walking and biking instead of driving, or NOT censoring books in school, or recycling!

The closer it gets to him coming, the more I find myself grasping onto anything that is so uniquely me, and the life I have led. And that's normal for me to go through that once a year- needing to find myself again wherever I am- but its funny because this year its not that I want to find me for me- I want to find it for my child. I have even gotten so weird about it, that I have actually cried at the idea that no one from my family or from Oregon will be there for his blessing. Its a blessing right? Who cares who is there? The matter is to make sure he gets one for HIM. But I have this strange... deep NEED for there to be something that represents me there- outside of me myself. And I feel that about every part of Logan's life. I don't WANT him to be 100% southern. Because like it or not he's half northwestern.

Maybe I just miss Oregon and my family. Maybe I am just SUPER weird. (Both things I know are currently true haha!) Have any of you experienced this? Who cares is Logan loves Linkin Park or classical art... as long as something pulls at the inside of him when he walks outside in the rain or when he slips on a pair of burkenstocks. Am I the only crazy mom-to-be?

Saturday, March 5, 2011

My Best Friends Baby

In a not so coincidental happening, my very best friend Becky and I ended up getting pregnant three weeks and one day apart. (Becky is three weeks and 1 day ahead of me.) And you think that is funny? Becky was due 3/3, my sister in law is due 3/14, I am due 3/25, and my friend at church is due at 3/31. (Apparently JUne/ July 2010 were good months for couples :)

I have to tell you- it has been AWESOME having someone so close to be pregnant with. We commiserate with one another, are equally interested in the most MUNDANE updates. We share ideas, advice, stories.... everything. Being pregnant so close to Becky has been one of the best parts of my pregnancy.

Well, Becky was due this past Thursday and we have been talking every day, complaining about the fact that her baby wouldn't come. Friday night (last night) I was texting her because I had my doctors appt that day and we always share news after our appts. Even if there really is no news.

It was about 9, 9:30 my time, so 6 or 6:30 her time. We were talking about the differences between station and effacement, and becky was upset that she had been having contractions ALL day but she wasn't, or they weren't, progressing at all.

Then all of a sudden I get this text that says, "My water just broke while I was texting you."

I texted her back, "wait, are you serious? You better not joke about something like that."

A minute later I get this, "I'm dead serious."

So of course I call her, screaming as if we are 17 and she's telling me some cute boy kissed her last night and say, "Becky! Your going to be a mom!"

She says, "Yeah, but now I don't want too. This hurts."

:) HAHAHA! I am a horrible person. I did laugh. We talked for a few minutes but I felt bad as she was having contractions while on the phone with me and really, this was a moment for her and her husband. But for some reason I was tickled all night and all this morning that I was on the phone with her when all this happened. Maybe a dumb thing to feel special about but there we go.

Just for the record, she texted me this morning around ten my time- seven hers. She had her baby at 6:30am pacific time, he weighs 7lbs and 14oz, and she and her hubby named him Henry Michael. And he is CUTE. And I don't just say that because I love Becky- lets be honest. Newborns usually look weird. But even my mother in law agreed that he was cute. (I think he looks like his dad, from what little he can look at this point.)

We haven't talked yet- I told her to talk to her family, and to SLEEP before she called me, and not even worry if she didn't call me for days but I can't wait to get the whole story and I am just so TICKLED to be a pseudo-aunt! It has absolutely made my day, and I couldn't be MORE than happy for her and her hubby! And anything that makes me happy I just have to share :) When I get some cute pictures on my phone I will post them because really- this little man is CUTE.

(Now we just pray that MY little man will be cute and not weird looking, and that my labor will only take as long as hers. 12 or so hours for baby number one? VERY GOOD. And that at max, I will only be two days late like her. I could handle two days.)

Friday, March 4, 2011

37 Weeks and What we are Doing Now

Well, I am full term today! My doctor says I am still wonderfully healthy- that the more I can perceive my babies movements (which is ALL the time) the healthier it means our boy is so I guess I shouldn't get SO tired of Logan partying around all the time. (Ps- all the pictures here are from my 36 weeks- I'll take more next week and post them on the side of the blog with the others.)

Besides that, Logan is BIG, and as the doctor says, totally engaged and already at zero station. For those of you who have no idea what that means (I wouldn't have) when the doctor checked to see if I was dilated at all (which I am not by the way) he said he could actually FEEL Logan's head. (BTW, having a dude doctor... not NEAR as weird as I thought it would be.)

So basically this kid is even ready to come, we are just waiting for MY body to warm up. Which you know... I don't blame it for taking its time. Its about to go through- excuse me- but hell. I'll give it another week or two. (No more than three please body.) But, Logan being in position is also good because the doctor said at this point, he's not moving OUT of position so I don't have to worry about him being breech or anything like that. As long as my body warms up well we are looking at a fairly normal and easy labor. MAJOR PLUS for me.

In other news... we have everything ready. Bassinet set up, diaper organizer organized. Bathroom stuff in place and organized. Car cleaned out. Car seat in place. Jogger stroller ready to be used. Zumba DVD in process of being made :) Snacks being collected for hospital stay. (Hello Girl Scout cookies!) I got my hair trimmed and layered today, and next week I am getting my nails done, and I bought a NICE razor to use in the hospital to be able to celebrate being able to shave again. (I have never actually WANTED to shave before in my life. Funny what pregnancy does.)

My last "official" day of work will be March 18, one week before baby. Then I will just be the on-call hero until he comes. Adam is still working Best Buy and SHOULD have his CNA license in... I'm trying to remember whether its the end of NEXT week, or the week after. Either way, after that he will be looking for a job at a nursing home. I think he's really looking forward to something more steady than retail (aren't we all?) but he wants to keep Best Buy either way. Loves the electronics and the discount :)

Otherwise, we are just trying to live in the moment, (which basically means long baths and showers, LOTS of naps, and a lot of TV watching because I am too lazy, and my feet get too big for me to do much else) and looking forward to the things coming up. Baby by the end of the month, Adams sister will visit the beginning of April, Adams birthday is in the middle of April, and lets not forget Easter (I love easter) and General Conference in April, then Adam's two best buds are coming to see us early May. And this gets to be my first "official" mothers day. :) Looking forward to that. (Though no breakfast in bed for me- Adam is a little like Monica Geller and I think the idea of crummies in the sheets makes him freak out a little:)

Either way... looks like we are shaping up to have a really good spring!