I have recently re-entered the blog world- meaning that I spend my time in the mornings reading up on everyone else's blogs and I have finally gotten caught up. I love reading about my friends lives, and seeing their pictures, and keeping up with them. One interesting/ weird thing I have seen- is that everyone seems to be going through a rough patch right now.
A rough patch is defined differently for every person, and I agree- a blog is the best place to vent out all those things you need to vent out. I even LIKE reading about all your rough patches because- lets face it. I can sympathize with most of you. We have been there or ARE there. And even if I can't, reading about your rough patch makes me feel like I can complain about mine when I have them and not feel guilty at all about it.
I was in one of those moods yesterday- my best friend and I were texting back and forth about not being able to find jobs, being scared out of our mind because we have kids coming in March, not being able to move because of the lack of money. I was reading blogs about being fired, back stabbing friends, infertility, feeling a lack of direction in life, and my heart was WRENCHING for my friends, my family, and yes- I was having a pity party for myself as well.
And then I came across my friend Kate's blog. (I'm not linking it cuz I am not positive she would want me to, even though she IS in my blog reel.) And I know how stressed she and her husband have been with school, and work, and money- Adam and I have BEEN there. And she wrote a BEAUTIFUL post about the small things that allow her to breath, to keep living, day to day. The changing tree colors, a brisk wind, and it reminded me of two talks that were given in General Conference last weekend.
The first- from President Monson, where he talked about being grateful, and giving thanks for EVERYTHING in our lives. Big, and very very tiny. And it made me think of President Eyrings talk, where he said to do what is right, work as hard as you can, and then just TRUST. I'm not saying this as a message for you- this was a message for me. This was me/ the Lord saying, "All right. You had your pity party. You felt that emotion through. Now move on. Because if you don't, you will never move out of this."
So- I am trying to be better. I am trying to be like Kate. I do my best to do what is right- and then put the rest of what I can't control out of my mind and adopt my Scarlett O'Hara mantra, "I'll think about it tomorrow because tomorrow is another day." And then I look on getting the best of what I can get out of today.
This week, I am glad my babies heart is still beating. (Yes I was freaking myself out that it wouldn't be when I went to the doctors. But it is fine and very fast :) Def a baby Adam.) I am VERY glad that they make Excederin for pregnant ladies. I am glad Adam never gives up. On anything. I am glad for HIS friends as well as mine. I am glad for the men his age who tell him he will love fatherhood. I am glad for the positive people out there who instead of scaring us about parenting tell us that we won't mind how hard it is because it all seems SO WORTH it while you are doing it.
I love this morning. Waking up with no headache. Wanting to kickbox. A good episode of Sabrina the Teenage Witch was on. For the warm shower and the smell of my body wash getting rid of the sweat of my workout. For Adams cute face when I come back into the room asking me to cuddle him before I become productive. For him wanting me to come and run errands with him. For my $1 lunchable for my mid-morning snack.
Sigh. Every one of those things is so tiny compared to the wall we seem to be up against. But- I guess a wall is just a bunch of tiny boxes stacked together right? So if I stack up enough tiny GOOD things, maybe I can hop OVER the crap wall from the good one and... move on? Maybe that's a little too idealistic. Or maybe its not enough idealism.
Either way- I hope and pray and dream that you will have idealistic days. That with everything worrying you, and scaring you, and with everything throwing rotten vegetables in your face, you will catch the smile of someone in the crowd that will make you smile, or that at least you will find some joy, some softness, a cleansing in the rain.