(This also happens to be story one from the reunion)
Weight loss is hard. Its not just about giving up Oreo's- you have to change the way you act, they way you react, the way you think, and even emote.
And you know what else is hard about weight loss? Finding support. My friend Jordan and I were talking about it- and no matter how big or small you are there is always going to be a few people who think the idea of loosing weight, or getting healthy is ridiculous. And there will always be people who make you feel you are never fit enough no matter how hard you try. Maybe that is what's wrong with society- we can't decide what we want more- skinny models or Burger King. Its one of the things I miss most about the UK. You dont find that there.
Being healthy is only bad when it starts to turn around and hurt you. Of course then you are not being healthy so that is a no brainer. Even the thinnest person should be able to choose grilled chicken instead of a porterhouse (though how GOOD does that sound right now I ask you?) without being looked down on. And you should be able to order a porterhouse without being sneered at by your wait or.
This night reunion we had for the love of freshman year was a dessert night. I am very against depriving myself because it makes me unhappy and I avoid anything that makes me unhappy so- that day I ate a very light lunch, and a very light breakfast conserving all my fat intake for the day for the get together that night.
Even still, I made a fat free sugar free pumpkin pie (thank you weight watchers!) just to make sure I could have something to consume. Just in case.
I needed have worried. The moment I walked in they broke out bags of tortilla chips and salsa (my dieters go to snack). And when my friend Coralie pulled out the drinks... there was a huge two liter of diet coke. I was going to be in eating dieters heaven all night. (That means I can eat a lot without worrying about taking in too many calories.)
During one point of the evening I walked to refill my glass for like... the fourth time and laughed and said to Coralie, "I think I am the only one drinking from this, and I will probably finish it." (the two liter of diet coke.)
To which she responds, "oh, I got that for you especially." I looked at her shocked and she said with a shrug, "I know how hard it can be."
All I could do was hug her and tell her I loved her. Really- I wanted to cry, and Adam and I shared a great moment in the car when I got to relate that story to him. Something so simple- and really kind of silly as that- made my heart warm more than anything else has this season. Thanks Coralie, for looking out for me.
I have lucked out so MUCH with people to support me. My mom keeps saying she wants my old bigger clothes. Adam constantly wraps me up and tells me I am tiny and little. Its not the type of compliment that makes me think he always has wanted me skinny- its the type of compliment that makes me feel amazing about how hard I have worked and how much I have achieved.
I have Jordan and Becky who always swap recipes with me and check up to see how I am doing, to congratulate me and love me. I have Adam's friends who laugh when I try to flex my arms, and actually make a bicep appear. And they always tell me my work outs are great.
THEY are great. My friends, my family, even the random people who read this and say something to me. Being healthy so I can have kids is important to me. Being healthy is important to me. And you know what? Yes- going into Gap and being able to say "I'm sorry I need a six." That is also important to me. Loving myself when I look in the mirror because I not only LOOK good but I FEEL amazing, is important to me.
And I am so grateful for the people who have made what is important to me, important to them. I guess- thanks for the support. I was surprised to realize how much I wanted it, and how much it has meant to me to have it. But I am so glad and so grateful I do.