Monday, November 30, 2009

The Beholder Has a Responsibility Too

One of the sisters who went to Albania with Adam and I have become good friends, and every Sunday night we try to go walking together. Last night we did so and we had the BEST talk about the merit of a man thinking you are beautiful.

Now, I am 100% one of those people that thinks you MUST love yourself before anyone else can love you. You must have confidence in how you look before other people will look at you. And a little confidence in a stride or in a smile will make ANYONE gorgeous.

This particular girl and I have both struggled for a long time with self image, weight etc. The funny thing is, is that unless you are close to us, you would probably never know that we have both looked in the mirror and said to ourselves- "You are ugly." We did it for different reasons, but we are both equally good at hiding the thought from others, though not from ourselves.

So last night we were sharing stories with each other about men who made us feel worth our salt. I know I said I am 100% believer in loving yourself. I also KNOW that you can love yourself, without so much loving the body that you are in. I guess I wanted to say to the guys out there- NEVER underestimate the impact you can have on a woman with a genuine compliment.

My friend shared a story about a man she had dated that would text her multiple times a day, even when he wasn't with her, to tell her she was pretty, cute, the best thing he had ever laid eyes on. And how when she was with him and she woke up in the morning she never thought a bad thought looking at herself in the mirror.

The great thing is how something like that lasts even though the relationship is over. I had a best friend do the same thing for me in high school and I can remember telling him once how much I loved being around him because all I had to do was be near him and I felt like that most beautiful thing that had walked the earth. He responded, "Good. You should always feel like that. Even when we are not together." And I do. His impact, that one action towards me, has forever given me more confidence.

Now, I am not writing this to be- woe is me I think I am ugly. Because I think I am pretty darn cute if we are being honest :) But it took me a long time to get there. And I think being told you are beautiful, works the same way with being told that you are loved. In marriage classes they always say to remind your spouse that you love them. Sure they know- you married them, but it always helps to hear it.

I think one of the best things a guy can do for a girl, a husband to a wife, brother to a sister, son to a mother, father to a daughter, is tell her she is pretty. I can remember getting ready for my nieces baptism and my nephew came looking for him mom. When he say my sister-in-law all dressed up he said to her, "Mom, you look BEAUTIFUL!"

The little boy is 4. When he left she admitted, "I taught him to do that." You know what? It doesn't matter. You could tell it made her feel amazing. And the better he is for being taught that because how amazing will he make his sister feel when they get ready for church, or his girlfriends feel when he takes them out? I think some people underestimate that type of compliment because they think it is trite. Not so in the least.

Like last night. When I was getting ready to go out I put on a shirt I hadn't worn in a while. When I came out to the living room Adam looked me over and said, "Have I seen that shirt before?" I told him I don't wear it very often and he just shrugged and said, "You look really cute in it. And I like your hat." (The hat thing could have been because he was the one that bought it for me for Christmas last year but in his defense- it is adorable.) Either way- the one comment made me feel smiling good about myself even until I got to my friends house.

And you know- I will admit that I actually like it when I guy I know tells me I am hot. I know that a lot of girls think that is derogatory, and when it comes from a scrungy man in front of the dairy section, or at the gym it is. But I had a good friend who used to go shopping with me a lot. And my favorite part about shopping with him was that he would tell me honestly if something didn't look so good. My second favorite part was that when something DID look good he would say, "You look so SEXY!"

Automatic confidence booster. Sometimes ladies- you want to look smoking hot.

Thank you to all the men that have made me, and any other woman out there feel worth what she does to make herself pretty. Better, to make herself feel worth it when she hasn't tried at all. It makes me wonder how models got to be that way- and its probably because someone told them they were just that good, even though they might have already known it deep down inside.

Saturday, November 28, 2009


I have become OBSESSED with Better Homes and Gardens. No joke. And NO- I am not fifty. I have an on-line subscription- totally free. There are great crafty gift ideas, great decorating ideas for all holidays... When I have down time at work I make phone calls and scan the website writing down and printing out ideas.Now- I am VERY against decorating for Christmas before Christmas. I don't listen to Christmas music until Thanksgiving day. So... I decorated for Thanksgiving :) Which I usually don't do. The door swag is leaves glued onto ribbon. Then Adam and I wrote down on the leaves things that we are grateful for.
My favorite is the fall wreath- its leaves strung onto wire with cranberries in between. I used a hanger to thread it to make it easier. If I had cute brown ribbon or the time to go and get it, then I would have hung it with that. Still very cute though. When I am not taking a picture in the background you can see the mirror reflecting the wreath.
All the pumpkins on the shelves are actually my creation. Some left over orange fabric from curtains me and a room-mate NEVER made :) But they are good for halloween and all of fall. But the pomander balls are what are hanging in the right corner- BHG idea- and they smell AMAZING. Plus- they look so cute hanging there with ribbon and will be cute during Christmas too.
And of course... I had to add in a few "Winter" things... like colors or something. Which is not hard because our wall colors are lime green and burgundy. So I added "Winter" looks to the pictures on the wall....And then when I got bored I made a paper chain and draped it over the bookshelf using vintage Christmas colors :) The glass tapers are full of apples and pomegranates. That idea, I have to admit though, comes from my best friend Jairus who doesn't make an arrangment without adding fruit or vegetables. Not even joking- he made my wedding boquet and there were purple artichokes in it. AWESOME.
The cups were a BHG idea- you fill them with- well I used cranberries but you can use kumquats, nuts anything, and make them candle votives. The wreath I am going to use as a gift topper and is made from just a foam ring wrapped in ribbon. Then you make the extra ribbon into bows and glue them on.For the kitchen window just to add a little- though I am sorry the picture is so dark- I just put a cute boquet of fake flowers in a yellow vase- all the colors matching in.
There were great table decorating ideas on-line as well. Adam and I dont have a dining room so we always eat in the living room so I decorated the coffee table for thanskgiving. I would NEVER have thought of using oranges in a cenertpiece but the celemtines made a wonderful addition- and a treat for if you are hungry :) The table runner is actually just cloth napkins taped together.So I am very grateful for Better Homes and Gardens as well as other things this year :) Just WAIT until I decorate for Christmas. I am starting today and so very excited that it is taking up all of my free time. :)

Thursday, November 26, 2009

Five Years

Five years ago I was a freshman at BYU living in the Deseret Towers Dorms. Since my family was in Oregon there was NO WAY I was going to be there for Thanksgiving- I didn't have a car or the money to fly out. But I had my options for the holiday- the cafeteria was going to be closed but the bishop was having dinner for everyone in the ward that had no place to go, and my best friend Jordan had invited me to eat dinner in Ogden with her family.

Adam and I, who were just newly best friends at the time, used to go out every night and talk all night long, and during one of these nights he asked me what I was doing for Thanksgiving. Since he was from Tennessee he wasn't going home either. I told him I was going to Jordan's to be with her family. He said he had a brother and sister in law in town and would I like to go eat with all of them?

I told him I didn't want to impose but he said that it wouldn't be an issue, and that his sister in law had a;ready said it was fine. They were excited to meet me. Adam spent the rest of the week talking about his family while I got incressingly nervous about meeting them. He loved them more than he loved Neuroscience, and I was worried about not making a good enough impression.

Thanksgiving eve we went over to his brother and sisters just to have fun, play games, etc. I can remember walking in and seeing Shannon sitting on the floor, legs crossed, wonderful pregnant belly in blue work-out sweats. Caia, the youngest then, climbed into my lap and sat with me all night. Everyone said was that odd because she was usually shy with new people. (Now if you meet her its impossilbe to get her to stop talking. She reminds me of me.)

That night Adam and I went out and talked all night again, and got to see it snow for the first time that year, my first snow in Utah ever. It was amazing.

Ryan picked us up the next morning, both Adam and I were exhausted, and we went to Ryan and Shannon's while Shannon made the best apple pie known to man (I still use the recipe) and Adam's sister Amy showed up. Then we went to Sandy and met Adams other sister Amber, her fiance Carson, and Carson's entire family where we had thanksgiving dinner.

During dinner everyone went around and said what they were most thankful for, though they couldn't say family. I said that I was grateful that they had allowed me to come though I knew none of them. Adam said, "Well, because she isn't family I'm allowed to say Sarah. I am most grateful for Sarah."

On the way home, after all the football games, Ryan drove Adam and I back to DT and we held hands in the back seat of the car over the empty pie pan, the first time ever.

So I guess this Thanksgiving I am most thankful for THAT Thanksgiving. Because I got to spend it with my best friend in the world ever, and because I got to realize what I meant to him. And I met some of the people that would become my best girlfriends- the best older sisters anyone could ask for. As well as older brothers who always make me feel like I have forever been part of the family, and nieces that I love.

And always, great great food. :)

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

In Low Places

Are you ever surprised in the places you find friends? For me there is always that one day after talking and hanging out when you realize you are actually intimately connected to the person you have just been casually chatting with. And it always strikes me as a little odd from where these people come from.

Like my best friend in middle school. We bonded in my Advanced Choir class because we said, in unison on like... the third day of class "I hate this teacher." Not joking- joined at that hip from that time on.

Or my first job- at the GAP outlet. There was a woman there, much older than me with kids who for some reason- we just could talk for hours. To this day if my mom goes into that store this woman asks her all about me and how I am doing.

Or even blogging like this. I have friends wives and friends of friends, room-mates of friends blogs who I read religiously, and I feel because I read their blogs that now if we went out to lunch, we would spend hours mulling over everything and nothing because they are my best friends.

At work even. My manager/ trainer called me today and said "I have to come to your store, and I am going to bring you a drink. What do you want?" In she walks 20 minutes later with cafe rio. Then she drove me home and we sat in the car for a half hour talking about our lives. I lover her.

Even my sisters. I LOATHED the both of them when I was younger because they are everything I have always to be and they do it better than me. But my sister and I were facebook IMing today for a half hour and she makes me laugh so hard I pee a little. (Very little).

Adams friends, friends siblings, other family members etc. Makes me wonder sometimes if the people who sit across the street from my place are going to be the people that someday my kids call aunt and uncle...

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Top Ten... and a little more :)

Because it has been too long...

1. Friends and Family with GAP inc. Truly- if it weren't for the crappy hours retail gives you, this event alone makes me miss working for GAP. I bought a new pair of Long and Lean jeans (My favorite) and got 17 dollars off. Yes! Which also leads into #2....
2. The jeans were an 8. Boo-freaking-ya! Of course I'm not going to be done dieting until I am a size six (dream size for me) but it still feels like an accomplishment. Which leads into #3....
3. Only 14 pounds to go until I am my goal weight. Much less daunting than the original 50 that I had to loose.
4. It now takes two bottles of hair dye to change my hair color. This is a happy thing because it shows how long my hair has gotten.
5. Hoisin sauce. Who knew? Mix it with chicken broth and onions and pour it over turkey fillets, cook in the oven and serve with mashed potatoes (potato pearl style of course.) OH MY GOSH. It is amazing. And if you dont have Hoisin sauce- it is one of those things that you can actually mix on your own. So double awesome there.
6. Billy Blanks exercise videos. I was sore for two days after an hour and a haf work-out. I love him. In my video he hammer danced for cool down. NOTHING beats that.
7. The Runaway Bride soundtrack. How did I ever forget that it was so amazingly good? I am in love.... really.... Which leads into #8
8. Runaway Bride soundtrack gives me inspiration and under it I have gotten one of my novels to 200 pages. Typed. Of course I realize more than 50 pages of that will have to be cut.... but to write that much in one consecutive lot line feels like an achievement.
9. Katamari. Thank you to Marc for introducing me to it. It is a Playstation 2 game that they revamped into a Playstation 3 game called Katamari Forever... and Adam bought it for me for our anniversary. I LOVE IT. Youa re basically this ball that rolls up the world. When I was single and would have a bad day I would walk to apartment 27 and they would and me a popsicle and a controller and it fixed me in less than an hour.
10. Adam blogging :) Makes me happy! PS- the blog was going to be funny because Adam was laughing about how everyone tests you for TB- the most deadly virus in the world. Adam said- "if someone walks in for an exam you should be able to say- oh look, he doesn't have TB." At very late hours this was REALLY funny to me. But then he did research and found there are pleanty of good reasons to test for TB and so he didn't want to write about it. But Adam has a very wry and witty sence of humor, and an interesting look out on the medical field so I hope he writes more because I think you would like it.
11. Secondary med school apps are ALMOST done. This also feels like, and is, a HUGE accomplishment. This time next year we will be somewhere along the east coast....
12. I really did have a twelfth thing.... and it was something about Adam and it was something funny... but now I can't remember it... oh well. If I do- I will write it into the blog as a seperate post later.
13. Oh yes! Ha- I hadn't published this yet... we watched the Scrubs finale for the 2nd time today and both STILL cried. It is the BEST finale I have ever seen on any TV show ever. Yes it really is that amazing. Although, now we are both sad that Scrubs really is over. Why do things like that, and Friends (who had a DEPLORABLE finale) ever have to end?

Thursday, November 12, 2009

The Physical

Heads up, this is Adam blogging. Mark it in your diaries, people, it doesn't happen often. Sarah and I were talking as we were falling asleep about medical stuff and she told me I should blog it.

I want the army to pay for medical school to relieve stress during medical school, right? Interestingly enough, it takes quite a bit of stress to get the military on board. My recruiter e-mailed me an application, and I figured I'd knock it out in an hour or two. It took a few weeks, including finding contact information of every landlord I've had, every employee I've had, and almost every friend I've had over the past 10 years. In fact, there were so many I stopped asking permission of people, so don't be surprised if Uncle Sam gives you diehard Moeck blog fans a call.
So I finally got scheduled for my physical today. I had to get to Salt Lake by 5:30 am. My recruiter calls me the night before, assuring me that he would call me at 5:00 to make sure I was up, and that he would meet me at the door at 5:30. In the back of my mind I thought, "Maybe I should give you the wakeup call..."
I wake up at 3:58 after rolling my Katamari off a cliff in a dream--a story for another blog--and hop out of bed before the alarm goes off and wakes up Sarah.
I'm almost to my exit at 5:20 when I get a groggy call from my recruiter...

The MEPS was a madhouse as 50 people try to get all their medical examinations done. They said a busy day for them is 25. So they're testing our vision, ears, and blood pressure, herding us from line to line, and I forgot why I thought this would be interesting enough to blog about. Like a thousand dreams I've written down of being Wolverine, the text just won't do it justice.

On an offtopic interesting note, I've started listening to talk radio. My music station of choice has a dead zone around BYU, and I'd rather drive in silence than have it cut out in the middle of Linkin Park or something. I felt proud of myself, as if I started reading the newspaper to become more informed. I told Daniel Clark about this new endeavor of mine, and he told me that I was now less informed. I keep Dan and Brett Ellingson around for their wit... and Miller for his sexual magnetism.
Wow, on that note, I'm heading to bed. Hope you all enjoyed. If you'd like to leave comments requesting that only Sarah blog from now on, I understand.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009


If you know me- you know I can EAT. You know how some guys say they don't want to take out a girl whose not going to order anything? I was one of those girls. Unless its Cafe Rio and heaping, do NOT expect me to order just a salad. Not this woman. Pass the ribs please?

In the past, that is what I have hated the MOST about dieting. I think almost any girl can share in that sentiment- feeling hungry. I think that feeling is worse than feeling nauseous. And somehow, in my twisted mind, I had come to associate that feeling, with loosing weight and it came to the point that I HATED to diet. I hated to loose weight because I felt like I was depriving myself.

That has been the most amazing thing about loosing weight this time. I don't know if its because I am actually taking Weight Watchers seriously, or because I am trying to reverse all of my bad habits. But "filling foods" has been my mantra since May and it is actually working. I am filling up on less and less, and as my stomach gets smaller as I get thinner I start to realize that I don't need as much.

For example: my average breakfast right now is yogurt and a muffin and juice. I eat it after working-out in the morning. And as crazy as it sounds, if I eat it at 8-9, I really don't get hungry again till 11 or 12 when I have a sandwich. Before, I had to eat about two bowls of cereal worth to fill me up.

I think there is something in what they say as well about eating a lot of small stuff instead of a few big meals. For lunch. I actually pack a normal one- sandwich or wrap, baked chips, some type of fruit or veggie, and sometimes a little treat. But instead of eating it all at once- I find I cant get it all down. When I get hungry at 11 or 12- I chow the sandwich. When I get hungry again an hour or so later- then I have the fruit and so on. I eat like- every hour in the afternoons.

Drinking helps with this of course. Like I said before- I down close to 64 ounces a day. When it tastes good it fills me up. I have come to realize that times in the past when I thought I was hungry, I was really just thirsty. Or when I ate when I was bored- now I just suck on a water bottle. It has the same effect. Though if you don't like to pee I would NOT suggest this technique.

It's still hard when I go somewhere I REALLY love. Like Cafe Rio or Olive Garden. The food tastes SO AMAZING that I pay more attention to the taste of the food than to what I am feeling while I eat. (I don't want to NOT concentrate on the food by concentrating on myself.) I have to actually split my food when I get it so I don't over eat. I KNOW that if I do I will feel sick afterwards and it will be no fun. But it is so good....

From a girl who could eat her whole family in a sitting- it is amazing to me to feel full and satisfied after a sandwich at lunch, or a fiber packed muffin at breakfast. You know what though? It feels GREAT. It feels like new jeans, clean sheets on the bed, your favorite movie, a perfect run. Its like feeling you could do four or five Billy kick boxing videos in a row and NEVER get tired. Its like after Thanksgiving dinner. Its being full. And there might not be anything better than that unless it is love itself.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Two Years

I am big on anniversaries. All of them. I have a thing for remembering dates. Such as my first kiss ever... January 15th 2005, 8:30 pm, in my now sister in laws living room while babysitting. (Yes it was with Adam.) Or Adam and I first decided we were best friends October 23rd 2004 when we went on a huge group date and left our dates to hang out together. Classic.

Anyways- tomorrow marks the second wedding anniversary for Adam and I. (It feels like it has been two months and 15 years all at the same time) but instead of writing a sappy corny blog like my inside heart wants to a little :) I am going to write about how my life has changed in the past 2 years. Because it is funny. And if you want a corny blog don't worry- I will probably get in the mood tomorrow and write one anyways.

1. My life is more intelligent. You know how some people you can look at them and say- jerk, jock etc? Yeah. Look at Adam- you say smart. Not just book smart though- Adam is just very naturally good at learning, and has a lot of common sense. Adam makes being smart cooler than it was to wear Tommy Hilfiger when we were in middle school and I LOVE that about him.
I think of myself as intelligent in some areas, and the greatest thing about being married to Adam is that the nerdy smart side of me becomes VERY prominent. For example: a Friday night. For some reason we were both reading- I, Les Miserables, and Adam the new Ender book by Orson Scott Card. One chapter in and Adam is FED UP with the way Card is using italics and we have- not exaggerating here- about an hour long discussion over the prescriptive versus descriptive use of italics and similar grammar, and whether Card could be considered real literature.
The best part is, is that this is NOT uncommon for us. This happens a lot. The other morning we woke up and somehow spent all the time before work discussing macro evolution and whether it is ethical to use animals for scientific research.
Like I said- since being with Adam life is A LOT smarter.

2. Life is more comical. Adam and I get along because we share very similar senses of humor. The witty- and the clever slapstick. (Watch Scrubs- you will understand.) I find myself not only watching but LOVING Dumb and Dumber, Ace Ventura etc. (On our honeymoon our hotel did free movie rentals and over the weekend we watched: Moulin Rouge, Liar Liar, Ace Ventura and The Spy Who Shagged me.) We live through comedy. And I love that as well.

3. I have regressed in maturity. Whoever thinks you have to grow up to get married is VERY VERY wrong. Adam and I together are like five year old twins who got in the cookie jar. Adam is always pulling funny faces, making funny noises and playing dumb games with me. Like the ones you do with kids when you "Steal their nose?" I LOVE this game and we play it all the time. He also likes to push me out of bed when I don't want to get up, turn the lights out on me while I am in the shower, and turn the water off when I am brushing my teeth. For some reason, this is endlessly enjoyable to the both of us.
Plus- we watch a lot of cartoons. I have now seen every old x-men cartoon, and most of the Dragon Ball Z ones. I LOVE THEM. And I mean that.

4. I have lots of nice things. For two reasons. One- Adam is OCD about keeping his nice things VERY nice. This, is a good thing. He is very careful with everything he owns from his shoes to our TV. Things last longer and always seem to look good.
The second reason- Adam is a very convincing person. He will be an amazing doctor some day because he will NEVER stand for having out of date equipment. The moment something new comes out- he will own it.
He is that way now. We have a myriad of electronic equipment that we update as needed that I never even knew I wanted before marriage, and now find I can't live without. Adam always find the time and the money in our budget to make sure his things are the best they can be. Mixing thrifty and smarts to get just what he wants- that is my baby!

5. I don't buy as many clothes. For those of you who have shopped with me- blowing an entire paycheck in Banana Republic- NOT HARD for me to do. (Even with a 60% employee discount.) However- Adam is one of those types that believes that you wear clothes until they are rags eg: unwearable. Not joking- the man has shirts since high school. And since he takes care of his clothes as well as his electronic equipment... you get where I am going with this. That five dollar shirt will last five years. I think a huge reason for loosing weight is that we both agreed that once done I get a new wardrobe.

6. Sleeping has become a violent activity. Adam has very visual dreams. One night I woke-up to him clawing my face in his sleep because in his dream someone was yelling at him and he was trying to get them to stop. I have woken up to him slapping my leg as hard as he can to "save me from spiders". I have been elbowed, prodded, kicked, punched, and almost pushed off the bed in the course of our marriage. Of course, maybe I deserve this because we can't count how many nights I not only take up 3/4ths of the room on our king size bed, but I also steal all quilts and sometimes take pillows.

7. I cuddle more. Believe it or not it is true. I used to have a rule when I was single that I had to have 10 hugs a day just to survive life. I cuddled with my room-mates, hugged their boyfriends, spooned body pillows at night and used to hold hands with my best friend/ mother/ sisters in church. It's funny- I have asked Adam's guy friends if we ever have too much PDA and they said they don't think we are bad at all. I feel like I am all over Adam all the time. If I am not touching, hugging, or kissing him when I am with him- than it is time wasted. Even when we go to sleep- Adam likes to have his room, but I will slide my feet under the covers until they touch his because- well- we have to be touching right?

Adam wants me to end this blog by quoting that popular song he hates "My life would suck without (him)". But as much as he may hate the song- it is undeniably true. I lived two years of life without Adam, after having been with him, and no matter how many other boys I loved, room-mates that became friends for life, or places that I visited- being with Adam is better than all of that.

We used to play a game while Adam was on his mission when we were too busy to write each other, and we would just write a line- we called it the I Love You More game. For example, Adam once said "I love you more than running water." And once when I was in England I told him I loved him more than Magnum bars. (If you have not had one then you do not understand what you are giving up.)

Life DOES suck- sucks hard- without Adam. These past two years have been hard but man- when I wake up in the morning and roll over to see him smiling in his sleep (probably dreaming about being Wolverine and killing a bad guy) I can't imagine anything that would make me want to give up that one single moment of my day.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009


I have a problem with hydration. Not with getting enough water- but the fact that I seem to need TOO much water.

I know liquid is good. In fact, if dieting has taught me anything it is how important drinking is. I have at minimum 32 ounces of water a day, usually closer to 64. Then add on my soda with dinner. (I don't care how many people say soda is bad- I need my coke with dinner.)

The weeks I don't loose weight the first thing I ask myself- not diet, not exercise- is, did I drink enough water? (Or juice... Kroger makes GREAT juice to put in your water that has no calories if you are like me and you cannot drink water unless you are physically in Portland Oregon or the UK.) Chances are- if I didn't loose weight I was lacking in the water category.

The problem I find is when I exercise. I do not glisten like cute girls. I SWEAT. Like a man. Wet t-shirt, hair, everything. It wasn't a problem at the gym when I could have my water bottle right next to me on the tread mill or the bike.

I realized this week while I have been forcing myself to run my 5k straight through... that I think I am getting dehydrated while I exercise. It blows my mind. People are running miles and miles without taking a drink and for some reason I can finish half a water bottle from start to finish of just my three miles.

So... I went out and bought a water bottle where I could just squirt the water in my mouth while I ran, that way I wouldn't have to stop. Works Like a Charm. I can run a 5k (16 laps around the track in the Smithfield House) in 31 minutes when I dont have to stop for something to drink.

Here is the question for any of you that know anything about health anything... is it good or bad to drink lots of liquid WHILE running?