My friends Alison and Jared came to visit me at work the other day with their daughter and we were discussing Biggest Loser. I was thinking while I was running this morning, about one thing Biggest Loser, Weight Watchers etc all have in common. They all tell you that you need a support group.
Unfortunately for me, this is the one thing I am WORST at. Talking about weight loss makes me more uncomfortable than most Mormons get when they have to talk about sex or read a swear word in a book. (Which is funny because I can do both of those with no problem.)
I talk to NO one about my weight loss, how it makes me feel etc. I have support- like when something great happens I tell Adam and he celebrates my triumphs with me. Every time I loose ten pounds we go out and do something sepcial of my choosing, no matter how much he dislikes it. He is also very good at putting his arms around me and telling me I am thin. But I don't talk to him about anything else.
I talk to my best friend about recipes and workouts and etc, but not much else. I might tell my mom or another close friend how much I have lost. I can tell Adam's buddy Daniel Clark about how far I have come with my work-outs, but that about does it. I dont discuss problems, over coming issues, etc.
So- I decided that I need to break that rule. Fortunately, most of the girls at least reading this blog, I know have been on a diet at least once or twice in their lives and so I feel I can write about it without fear of being TOO boring. And if I am blogging its like I am coming out with secrets but I am not telling anyone specifically which makes it easier.
So, here it goes :)
My biggest problem with weight loss that I have had to overcome, and therefore feel the desire to talk about, is weighing myself/ the scale. I used to be one of those girls that if I didn't loose 2 pounds a week I was devastated/ gave up/ went extreme. I would fast every Sunday, cut out sweets, ignore holidays and celebrations to get my two pounds a week.
I have had to battle that and I FINALLY, now that I have lost 30 pounds and am halfway to my goal, feel that I have overcome that. I have learned that sometimes, loosing weight slower is better when it means I can have an ice cream at night. When I can celebrate my birthday with cake, or my anniversary with Olive Garden. I have a sweet tooth and I LOVE food. I think that is as much part of my personality as writing and being super loud is. I have to accept it and find a way to work it into my life, without making it a detriment.
I have noticed that I actually pay more attention to my weight loss when I am only loosing a pound a week. Yes, it takes a lot longer but I start to realize the very small changes in how I look, my fitness, my energy level etc.
The biggest thing- is it has forced me to measure my success with more than just a scale. For instance, when I ran a 9 minute mile the other week without trouble I almost wanted to cry. That's what I ran in high school. When I realized that my size 10 jeans have to be dried in the dryer to fit just right otherwise they are too big. When I looked at my arms and realized that I DONT have 17 inch arms, BUT I have this beautiful line running right down the middle of my bicep. I have that now in calf and thigh as well.
Some weeks I dont loose at all. That is the HARDEST to deal with because- well, it feels like I have failed. Even if I did nothing wrong, and stayed right to my plan. When that happens I have to take a deep breath, avoid driving to Wendys, and force myself to work-out just a little bit more the following week. I have to pay attention to the inches lost off my legs and how much stronger I feel, even though the numbers on the scale are not moving. Muscle weighs more than fat right?
And, if I dont loose weight because I DID over indulge, I have to remember- it was my birthday, I deserved it. Or, it was a sucky week and you know what? That Big Mac meal really DID make me feel better. I didn't gain anything from it and sometimes- you just need fries. It's true. And then I can loose the following week feeling better for not forcing myself to NOT do something that I really REALLY wanted to.
I have had to change my mentailty from lossing weight, to not gaining. As corny as it sounds, the slower I loose weight the more it becomes a changing of life style, getting into the habit of living differently than just being thin. I think, hope and pray, that in the long run it will last me much longer.
I write all this becasue this is STILL a struggle for me. I think saying it out loud helps me to remember what I am trying to teach myself and hoping, knowing praying :) that it IS going to pay off that I will be thinner, fitter, healthier and you know? happier.
YES people. YES food may not be the answer but sometimes- it helps you get into the mood to find the answer. Food makes me happy. It does. I just have to control it that's all.