Friday, August 7, 2009

Joy in the Un-Joy

There is a country song that I love, where a woman and her husband fight, and he is trying to make up for it and she says to him, "I don't hate you, and in a little while I will be over it and we will be fine but for right now, can you just let me be mad for a while?"

Being in a bad mood, whether it is a hard day at work, worry about a life change, or simply feeling like you are falling short, is no fun. In general, we do not like these things. But am I alone in saying, sometimes you just need to have a bad day? to be in high temper or to have that really good depressing cry?

I am all for being cheered up, but if someone tries to cheer my up before the cry, I actually don't come out feeling all that great.

I used to wonder if that made me a drama queen- because I almost LIKE the exasperation. Until I read Tuesdays With Morrie and he explained it all. Morrie is being interviewed one day, and the TV guy is saying how amazed he is that Morrie is not more depressed that his body is shutting down one part at a time.

And Morrie responds that he is. That he wakes-up every morning and cries- he SOBS. He feels the feeling all the way through. And it is only once he has felt it to the fullest, that he can recognize it for what it is, and get past it. If he doesn't feel it all the way through, than he misdiagnoses it and the problem goes more ignored than solved.

I don't know when something has made more sense. I can remember once, the summer after my sophomore year of college, when I felt I got played by a guy I liked. That same night my room-mate had split up with his room-mate. We were both livid. All morning. We went on a run and Mormon cursed them the whole... what.... five blocks? We yelled as we ran down the street. Then we came home and ate, and eviscerated them through fiction (A Knights Tale? Anyone?) and by the time we both came home from work that night, we could talk to them without too much effort.

I always feel bad when people are having a bad day, or a problem. I want to take them shopping, or buy them ice cream, or tell them I love them but I don't know what stage they are at. Do they need someone to take an angry venting run with them? Or do they need to eat ice cream and cry? Or do they need to forget and hear a funny story? I always want to be a comforting and helpful friend, but I always worry about doing the opposite thing.

There are so many of my friends right now that are having a hard time- maybe its an end of summer thing because I have been so uncomfortable in life myself lately. No matter what stage you are at, I am with you and I love you! :) I hate whatever it is you need to hate, or be angry at with you, I worry with, and then I think you are amazing, that it will pass with time, and I KNOW you WILL be happy.

6 comments:

  1. sarah! i miss your face!! we've had moments like this! remember in HIGH SCHOOL?!?! oh man!! p.s. - scott hunter is getting married! wierd!!

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  2. I like this post... a LOT! I've sorta grouchy a lot this week, and at those times I feel the same way. Sort of like I don't WANT to be cheered up, I want to be depressed for a little while, so I can wake up feeling better the next day. Try and cheer me up before that and its only gonna work half way. Verrrrry interesting! If I could only get past the guilt I feel knowing that I SHOULD be choosing to be happy all the time. Then life would really be complete!

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  3. o Sarah! I know this post probably was not written with me in mind, but I sure appreciated it today!

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  4. oh sarahray! I love you! Are you okay? I'll come and have ice cream, run , and cry with you if you need it. We definitely need to go on vacation together. I would love it. Trent and I really wanted to go to Disneyland for our 1 year, but school sucks and there were no breaks. We are shooting for next year...we got to go before we accidently have a baby. LOL! You guys should come. Or if we are both poor we can just go to the Ranch, it is always fun (and free) there. Oh my gosh we are coming to Utah in December. Trent's friend is getting married on the 18 or 19. I'm so excited.

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  5. Ha! I remember when that happened! And you know, I felt so incredibly liberated because I got to yell and scream and be the complete emotion. :) Quality. :)

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  6. You should be a columnist! Great post, you're fantastic and I'm glad I found you. My thoughts exactly.

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