Monday, August 31, 2009

Plug In

I know that some people hate it when other people do this but- oh well! I am :)

My best friend Becky is an AMAZING artist. Ever since I can remember she has loved photography. She actually took my senior photos my last year of high school, because not only did I get them done for free that way, but she got to use them in her senior portfolio/ senior project. (No one else had to do that? We had to have a huge presentation and everything- couldn't graduate without it.)I put a couple of the pictures in here 1, so you can see how amazing she was back then with a very normal film camera and no training, and 2, because I think it is REALLY fun to see pictures of people when they were younger. (Although I don't think I have changed much whether that is sad or not...)Becky has this way of exactly capturing who you are, and she catches you in your most real moments. The photo I used in the year book is the one of me laughing in the weeds. Becky had thought they made a nice background so she made me go cuddle them and said, "Just LOVE the weeds Sarah, LOVE them." I was laughing SO hard and everyone always loved the picture because it caught me in the middle of being who I am.Anyways, I write all of this becasue for the last few years Becky has been taking classes in photography at college, and her talent has become AMAZING. Out of this world amazing. She had made two new blogs that I wanted to tell you all to look at- even if you are not interested in services. Picture-your-life.blogspot.com, features all of her photography. Decorate-your-life.blogspot.com features all of the crafts that she does with her photography. That one is not currently up and running, but the following pictures are things she has made me.
These are plaques of a sorts that I have hung on my wall- one is a picture of when Adam and I went up to Oregon Halloween weekend before we got married, and the other is a picture of my wedding bouquet. I didn't actually have a picture of my bouquet but since my other amazing talent friend Jarius did so wonderfully on it, I wanted to remember it. So Becky did some work on some already existing photos and came out with this.
Like I said, the girl is unbelievable talented. Look at her blogs- I added them to my crafty list and love them as much as I do :)

Thursday, August 27, 2009

A Day of Infamy

August 25th has come and is now gone. The MCAT was started at noon on Tuesday, and finished bringing Adam home by 5 that evening. He was so exhausted he had to sit on the couch for 30 minutes after wards and let- as he said it- his brain recover.

We went out to a celebratory dinner after wards- Adam got Panda Express, I had Cafe Rio. And that night as we sat down to watch the third season of 30 Rock (BEST SHOW EVER) Adam said, "Wow, I have no idea what to do with myself. The MCAT is done, and school hasn't started. No studying. What do I do now?"

Don't worry- I taught Adam what to do when there is nothing to study :)

We took Wednesday and Thursday off. On Wednesday since we stayed up so late the night before (4- I haven't done that since I was a Freshman in college) we slept in until 11. Then we watched some 30 Rock. Then we went to campus to buy Adam's books, over to his sisters to lay in her hammock, and then we decided to go to Wingers for dinner with Amy and Adam's best friend Ryan, and spent the rest of the day window shopping around the mall. As fun as that may NOT sound to a lot of people- we had a BLAST.

We had ice cream right before we left the mall, and then Amy and Ryan came back to our place and we played games. I actually fell asleep on the couch part of the way through, but Adam said everyone else had a lot of fun haha!

On Thursday, I dragged Adam into going hiking. He doesn't hate it, but he doesn't love it. But I made had him promise me for every ten pounds I loose this summer he has to do something great for me :) First we went to the water park, and though the second one has been a bit in coming due to the MCAT, but Adam made good and with Amy and Ryan in tow, we hiked Stewart Falls this afternoon! We had a great picnic at the top, and spent some time relaxing and playing before coming back down.

Our two day break wasn't by any standard days of high excitment that an actual vacation might have been, but Adam and I both agreed, they were both the exact type of fun and realxing that we could want in a break. Now all we have to do is await the MCAT score and then the application process will begin!

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

Until the 25th...

I am so excited for the end of this month. August has been a crazy month for us. Well... for Adam really. Have you ever noticed though that when your significant other is stressed and busy, that YOU feel stressed and busy even if you aren't? What we have been up to:

1. Sarah working 40 hours (same old, same old)
2. Adam doing CASA training.
3. Adam doing MCAT Study. (The MCAT is on the 25th... cross your fingers and say your prayers everyone)
4. Adam working 20-30 hours a week. (Same lab research)
5. Adam shadowing neuroscientist. (THAT, we are actually VERY excited about because he will get to see a piece of what he hopes will be his future life.)

We are hoping that some of these things start to slow down after the MCAT. (At least we are taking a two day break right afterwards.) Of course after the 25th...

1. Sarah will still be working 40 hours. Though Data Entry will be less busy, and off season is always more fun.
2. Adam will be a CASA member, participating instead of training.
3. MCAT is over, and we will begin filling out apps for med schools in Rochester NY, Denver CO, Johnson City TN, and Portland OR. (Though I am hoping I can be of some assisance there. Though Adam will right his own essays :)
4. Adam working 10 hours a week. His article on something smart... allelation of ketones... cancer research... chemistry.... has to be published. (Though we dont know when anymore...)
5. Adam's very last year of undergraduate work begins. (He will knock it out of the ball park... he always does.)

But you know what else happens after August? That makes everything above worth every moment?

Fall.

Glorious mornings where you walk out to your car and everything around you makes a noise in the crisp crackly air. Gray mornings full of fog and mist and everything looks etheral- you can imagine in a fog. Darkening evenings where you can see your breath puff out in front of you as you walk inside.

Home is welcoming with its light, and its warmth. You cover your bed in layers of blankets, you want to cuddle on the couch with popcorn, or thick steamy soups and warm cups of coco and cider. Outside bright colors of leaves are celebrating being relinquished from the heat. You don sweat shirts, and jeans. Smart jackets and boots. Fun tights and scarves, and turtlenecks.

There are new school supplies- the smell of pencil shavings, a box of newly sharpened crayons. Notebooks with blank pages just WAITING to be covered with pen and pencil markings. I can't even walk down the back to school isles in the grocery store because I want to buy everything.

The feeling of the end of the year is the greatest. A new school semester makes your organized, motivated, scheduled. Its better than New Years for a resolution. There is my birthday, me and Adams anniversary, Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas... there is more love, fun, good food, cute clothes, beautiful weather, and cheer packed into the last 4 months of the year, then there is combined throughout the other 8.

I am so very excited, for the end of August.

Friday, August 7, 2009

Joy in the Un-Joy

There is a country song that I love, where a woman and her husband fight, and he is trying to make up for it and she says to him, "I don't hate you, and in a little while I will be over it and we will be fine but for right now, can you just let me be mad for a while?"

Being in a bad mood, whether it is a hard day at work, worry about a life change, or simply feeling like you are falling short, is no fun. In general, we do not like these things. But am I alone in saying, sometimes you just need to have a bad day? to be in high temper or to have that really good depressing cry?

I am all for being cheered up, but if someone tries to cheer my up before the cry, I actually don't come out feeling all that great.

I used to wonder if that made me a drama queen- because I almost LIKE the exasperation. Until I read Tuesdays With Morrie and he explained it all. Morrie is being interviewed one day, and the TV guy is saying how amazed he is that Morrie is not more depressed that his body is shutting down one part at a time.

And Morrie responds that he is. That he wakes-up every morning and cries- he SOBS. He feels the feeling all the way through. And it is only once he has felt it to the fullest, that he can recognize it for what it is, and get past it. If he doesn't feel it all the way through, than he misdiagnoses it and the problem goes more ignored than solved.

I don't know when something has made more sense. I can remember once, the summer after my sophomore year of college, when I felt I got played by a guy I liked. That same night my room-mate had split up with his room-mate. We were both livid. All morning. We went on a run and Mormon cursed them the whole... what.... five blocks? We yelled as we ran down the street. Then we came home and ate, and eviscerated them through fiction (A Knights Tale? Anyone?) and by the time we both came home from work that night, we could talk to them without too much effort.

I always feel bad when people are having a bad day, or a problem. I want to take them shopping, or buy them ice cream, or tell them I love them but I don't know what stage they are at. Do they need someone to take an angry venting run with them? Or do they need to eat ice cream and cry? Or do they need to forget and hear a funny story? I always want to be a comforting and helpful friend, but I always worry about doing the opposite thing.

There are so many of my friends right now that are having a hard time- maybe its an end of summer thing because I have been so uncomfortable in life myself lately. No matter what stage you are at, I am with you and I love you! :) I hate whatever it is you need to hate, or be angry at with you, I worry with, and then I think you are amazing, that it will pass with time, and I KNOW you WILL be happy.

Monday, August 3, 2009

Rememberance

I am not a stranger to death. (I know, strange way to start a post though.) I lost a classmate when I was 12, a close friend the day before I tuned 17, a pet after my freshman year of college. Two years ago I lost one of the closest people to me, six months ago Adam and I lost our puppy. And last night my dad called to tell me that I had lost my grandmother.

We weren't super close. My dad is one of the youngest in his family, and to give you an idea of the age gap, I had cousins that were married before I was even born. Everyone had always told me though, that I remind them of my grandmother. That I look like her with my crazy curls, and that I act like her when I am being particularly head strong.

I hadn't seen her for years- not since the summer after my freshman year at college. But I remember her smile, and her laugh. I remember when I was very small her teaching me how to make toast without using a toaster. I remember my grandpa helping her in and out of their car, and watching her talk with her friends or walk their dog.

She had both Alzheimer's and Parkinson's for quite some time. My dad told me she went comatose on Monday and that when she woke-up that she asked my grandpa to take her off of life support. She knew it was her time to go.

It's funny, how even when you weren't super close to some one how much death hurts. Whether its a now empty desk next to yours, an email, a birthday card, a hug... there was a presence that you were SO used to having in your life that now does not exist. Its like people say- you never realize the impact the smallest presence makes in your life until its not there anymore.

There are a few things that I have learned about death in the past. One, is that grief never disappears. Years after loosing the friend, seeing a white truck like theirs will still make you hurt. I promise. Two, is that I can't imagine what death would be like without being a Latter Day Saint and knowing what I do. That knowledge does not make death any easier. It still hurts like hell. But I can't imagine how much MORE it would hurt, if I thought that death was the end of the relationships I have put so much of myself into.

And that goes into the third, and comforting knowledge: that people and pets (do not belittle the pain of loosing a pet. It is as real as loosing a human), DO continue on. They can't call you or touch you the same way, but they can still hear you, and you can still feel them. And sometimes, the feeling that your friend, your grandparent, is sitting next to you just enjoying a silent moment as you climb into bed, or take that long car drive on your own, is the support and love that you didn't even realize you were missing out on.

I didn't mean to depress anyone. I just wanted to give a moment to acknowledge the worthiness of tears, and to express the belief that we keep everyone we love close to us because spirit is eternal, and so is love. I'm grateful for the small memories I have of my grandma, and I am glad that she got to be independent to the very last moment of her life, and choose when she wanted to go. I hope I am half so lucky.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Overflow

We had a very adventurous week-end this week. It gave some great insight on what it will be like to own and care for my own home some day. On Friday afternoon Adam was in the bathroom brushing his teeth getting ready for work, and he heard the toilet gurgling. So he went into our little basement area to find the plunger and there was water EVERY WHERE.

Adam moved everything out of the basement, making our whole house and front area look like a dumping ground. I'm so glad he did though because nothing, thankfully, got ruined. And since our landlord was out of town for the weekend, we figured we could just last a few days with water... and a not very well working toilet.Of course when I came home on Saturday we discovered that the water was now... sewage? I called everything from the landlords cell phone to his house phone and finally got a hold of his daughter who was watching the office, and she got a rotter rooter to come and take care of it.

Adam helped the plumber out moving things around in my boots. My favorite part of this house adventure. It turns out that the roots from the trees around were growing INTO the pipes, and broke them apart, clogging the main lines. So everything filled up, and then BACKED up into our basement area.

But the plumber got everything fixed, and got rid of the water. The landlords daughter got a bacteria exterminator cleaner-upper guy to come over. He sprayed this stringent anti-microb stuff all over the floors, and the carpet, and brought in an air purifier. We had to rip up the carpet by the bathroom because the water had seeped through the wall.

Then another woman came over last night and cleaned out EVERYTHING and set up massive fans all over the house to dry everything out. They actually worked great though they are SO loud. But when we woke-up this morning everything was dry and NOTHING smelled.
The landlord came over this morning to check everything out and said that it looked so good that they would bring out the fans tomorow. So this is Adam and I in our new happy, very dry, non-bacteria, un-padded carpeted apartment.